I have to tell you about a new app I’ve been enjoying. I k now, I know, the last thing you need is another app to navigate and figure out and to make sure you have enough space on your phone. But this app is very simple, and in a weird way, life changing in regards to the relationship in our lives.
Another method of eliciting affirmation is much less subtle. It’s usually posted as a question which would cull positive responses back to the poster. “If I was drowning, would you save me?” Of course people would, and would say so (those that would not likely aren’t Facebook “friends” anyway), but as these types of posts continue, only those who need to be an affirmer, a rescuer, end up replying. The posters are crying for positive feedback, needing to hear they are worthy, but over time elicit less of it. It’s a Peter and the Wolf syndrome.
We all do this to some extent, soliciting compliments in order to bolster our self-image. I write stories or essays or reviews and point people to them, hoping they enjoy it. I might not overtly be asking for someone to tell me they liked it, but isn’t that what we want, to hear we’re doing something worthwhile?
Social media can be painful and we can all learn lessons of tolerance and humility the longer we use it. I would challenge you however, especially when you’re “in the wilderness” to use it sparingly, shut it off when it makes you hyper emotional in any way, and never ever respond out of anger. Chances are your response will not be well thought out enough to allow you to remain level-headed.